Warning. Not a fun blog. Medical update, some whining to follow…
X-ray.
I had a massage Sunday evening and was given advice to rest on Monday, if at all possible, to give my back a chance to heal. I took her advice and scheduled a doctor appointment for Monday afternoon. Doctor ordered an x-ray, which I did right away, and told me to use a medicated cream and ibuprofen to ease the pain. I haven’t had x-rays very often, but I thought it was strange that the clinic handed me an envelope with the x-rays, along with a little card that has a website, user id, and password to view my x-rays online. Kind if cool. Not that I can make any sense out of them by looking at them.
Work.
Tuesday I really wanted to get back to work. I was facilitating a meeting that I really did not want to postpone, so I thought I would give it a go. An hour and a half of sitting in my gargantuan chair that might be too big for a gorilla, and I was in agony. Several times I had to choke back tears (so not cool to cry at work). I hobbled around and survived the day. Barely. I requested a new chair, and was told I need a doctor’s note with a suggestion on what needs to happen at the office to help. I haven’t had to get a doctor’s note for anything since I was in high school, so I found that a bit frustrating, but so be it. I will get a note, if that is what it takes.
That night I was pretty much useless. As soon as Jay was home and the kids were fed, it was off to bed to lay on my heating pad.
Wednesday.
I wanted to go back to work on Wednesday (more fun meetings – I know, I’m a nerd), but Jay refused to let me go. I think he is about at his limit as he is in charge of all of the heavy lifting/chasing Lily/getting up at night to lift her out of her crib/etc. He needs me to be healthy, so I obeyed his commands. I had to get a doctor note anyway, so I scheduled an appointment to pay the doctor another $65 so she could write the HR department a note telling them that, hello, my chair is no bueno.
And so the doctor did just that. She hadn’t had a chance yet to review the x-ray results, so she pulled them up and let me know the verdict.
The X-ray shows severe degeneration of my lower spine, and an abnormal shifting. She referred to it as a type of arthritis. She prescribed a pain killer, and told me to get a CT scan today. She also suggested that I don’t go to work for at least one more day to try to get the inflammation and pain under control. She said depending on the CT scan results, she may refer me to a back surgeon. :(. I might cry. The thought of any type of surgery in a foreign country terrifies me. Without my mom. Ugh.
So I had my CT scan and am now just waiting to hear what the results are.
Annoying.
I am finding the mental struggle with this situation almost as hard as the physical. I hate feeling useless, hate that I cannot hold my baby, hate that I am dumping all of this extra stress on Jay – especially during quarter end, hate that when I pick up the kids we sit on the couch in front of the TV and wait for dad to come home because I am afraid that I may have to bend over to pick up Lily, hate that I can’t concentrate on work, hate that I hurt and can’t seem to shake it. Ty would say, “mom, we don’t say hate” but in this case, I really really really don’t like the situation. If this is at all what it feels like to grow old, ugh….
Sorry for that. I tend to get angry when I am in pain for days on end. 😦
CT Results.
I haven’t talked to the doctor about my Ct results but I could view them online. Thursday evening. It says I have severe degenerative disc disease and disc osteophyte complex. My brief google search eases my concerns a bit – might not be as bad as it sounds – but I am hoping to hear from the doctor tomorrow to discuss next steps. I stayed home from work and rested in the morning, then worked in the afternoon – standing at the kitchen counter. I felt the best I had in a week, but by the end of the day my back just felt tired.
On a positive note.
In spite of my misery, there have been some positive things this week. Jay has had a pretty good closing, so he has thankfully been able to get home by 6:30 most nights this week, with only a bit of working from home at night. Yay!
Ty was carrying around Jay’s phone, with “I’m sexy and I know it” cranked up as loud as the phone can go, dancing around the house in his undies, showing us his “cool moves”. God I love that kid.
And last, but not least, we received another Christmas card in the mail today!! Yay for Christmas cards – and for friends that are willing to pay the extra postage to mail them overseas. I would be totally happy receiving Christmas cards staggered throughout the entire year. There is definitely not a rule against sending them to us in a month other than Nov-Jan. :). Thank you Zimmerman’s!!
Unfortunately we needed to hurry up and eat a quick late lunch, then roll out to beat the sunset. We made it, with not a lot of time to spare before the sun went down.
Shearer Adventure 